Finding the right therapist takes more thought than most people expect. You’re not just looking for someone qualified, you’re looking for someone you can be honest with, someone whose way of working suits the kind of difficulties you’re bringing, and someone whose presence makes the room feel safe enough to do that work. This guide is designed to help you think that through, whether you’re considering working with me or exploring your options more broadly.
A note on terminology: you’ll see the words counsellor, therapist, and psychotherapist used interchangeably online, and the distinctions aren’t always clear. In general, psychotherapy refers to longer-term, deeper work with more complex presentations, while counselling often describes shorter-term, more focused support. I trained as both and practise as a psychotherapist, working relationally and in depth with adults, often around trauma, attachment, and longstanding patterns. If you’re unsure which you need, an initial conversation with a prospective therapist will usually clarify that.
The Relationship Is the Work
The research on what makes therapy effective is consistent on one point: the quality of the relationship between you and your therapist matters more than the specific model or technique they use. That means the right therapist for someone else may not be the right therapist for you, regardless of their qualifications or reputation. When you meet a therapist for the first time, pay attention to how you feel in their presence. You’re looking for a sense of being genuinely listened to, of being able to say difficult things without managing their reaction, of feeling accepted rather than assessed. That doesn’t mean the first session will feel comfortable, it often doesn’t, but there should be something that signals this person could be trusted over time.
It’s also worth knowing that it’s normal to speak to more than one therapist before committing. A good therapist won’t pressure you to decide quickly, and most offer an initial consultation for exactly this reason.
Questions Worth Asking
Before or during a first consultation, it’s reasonable to ask:
- What is your therapeutic orientation, and how does that shape the way you work?
- Do you have specific training or experience in the area I’m bringing?
- How do you think about the therapeutic relationship itself?
- What does a typical session look like with you?
- How do you handle endings or breaks in the work?
The answers will tell you more than a therapist’s profile page. Someone who can speak clearly and warmly about how they work is generally someone who has done enough of their own reflective practice to be genuinely present with you.
Understanding Qualifications
The UK therapy sector is not uniformly regulated, which means qualifications vary significantly. Here’s a practical guide to what you’re likely to encounter:
A Level 4 Diploma is a foundational qualification, roughly equivalent to first-year undergraduate level, and typically takes one to two years. It provides core counselling skills and is sufficient for some settings, though not for complex or trauma-focused work.
An undergraduate degree in counselling or psychology offers broader theoretical grounding and more extensive placement hours than a diploma alone.
A postgraduate qualification, usually a Postgraduate Diploma or Master’s degree, represents three to four years of training at an advanced level, with significant supervised clinical practice. This is generally the baseline for practitioners working with complex presentations. I hold both a Postgraduate Diploma and a separate Master’s degree.
A Professional Doctorate represents the highest level of academic and clinical training in the field, combining advanced clinical practice with original research. I am currently undertaking a Professional Doctorate at the University of Chester.
Longer training doesn’t automatically make someone the right fit for you, but it does indicate a depth of theoretical grounding and supervised practice that matters when the work is complex.
Professional Registration
Look for therapists registered with BACP, UKCP, or HCPC. These are the main professional bodies in the UK, each with their own ethical framework and complaints procedures. Registration means the therapist has agreed to work within a set of professional standards and is accountable to a body outside themselves. I am a BACP Senior Accredited Psychotherapist, which is the highest individual accreditation BACP offers and requires a substantial body of post-qualification clinical hours.
Practical Considerations
Beyond the relational fit, the logistics matter too. Consider whether you want to work in person or online, and whether the therapist’s available hours are compatible with your schedule. I work from my Bromley office Monday to Wednesday and offer online sessions for those who prefer it or are unable to travel.
My Approach
My practice is rooted in relational psychodynamic therapy, informed by attachment theory. That means I’m interested in the patterns that show up in your relationships and in how the past continues to shape the present, often in ways that feel automatic or invisible until they’re named. I work with adults, often around childhood trauma, attachment difficulties, and longstanding emotional patterns, and I bring an awareness of how the body holds experience alongside the mind. I also bring my own experience of being in therapy. It has shaped how I understand the process from the inside, including how much the right relationship matters, and how disorienting it can feel to find it.
If you’d like to explore whether working together might be a good fit, I offer an initial consultation. Get in touch at samanthamerry.co.uk/contacts.
Samantha Merry is a BACP Senior Accredited Psychotherapist in private practice in Bromley, South East London, and a doctoral researcher at the University of Chester.