Choosing the Right Therapist for You

Finding the right therapist takes more thought than most people expect. You’re not just looking for someone qualified, you’re looking for someone you can be honest with, someone whose way of working suits the kind of difficulties you’re bringing, and someone whose presence makes the room feel safe enough to do that work. This guide is designed to help you think that through, whether you’re considering working with me or exploring your options more broadly.

A note on terminology: you’ll see the words counsellor, therapist, and psychotherapist used interchangeably online, and the distinctions aren’t always clear. In general, psychotherapy refers to longer-term, deeper work with more complex presentations, while counselling often describes shorter-term, more focused support. I trained as both and practise as a psychotherapist, working relationally and in depth with adults, often around trauma, attachment, and longstanding patterns. If you’re unsure which you need, an initial conversation with a prospective therapist will usually clarify that.

The Relationship Is the Work

The research on what makes therapy effective is consistent on one point: the quality of the relationship between you and your therapist matters more than the specific model or technique they use. That means the right therapist for someone else may not be the right therapist for you, regardless of their qualifications or reputation. When you meet a therapist for the first time, pay attention to how you feel in their presence. You’re looking for a sense of being genuinely listened to, of being able to say difficult things without managing their reaction, of feeling accepted rather than assessed. That doesn’t mean the first session will feel comfortable, it often doesn’t, but there should be something that signals this person could be trusted over time. It’s also worth knowing that it’s normal to speak to more than one therapist before committing. A good therapist won’t pressure you to decide quickly, and most offer an initial consultation for exactly this reason.

Questions Worth Asking

Before or during a first consultation, it’s reasonable to ask:

What is your therapeutic orientation, and how does that shape the way you work?
Do you have specific training or experience in the area I’m bringing?
How do you think about the therapeutic relationship itself?
What does a typical session look like with you?
How do you handle endings or breaks in the work?

You don’t need to have all your questions ready in advance. But knowing that it’s legitimate to ask them is useful. A therapist who becomes defensive or evasive in response to reasonable questions is telling you something important.

Understanding Qualifications

Therapist qualifications vary considerably, and the landscape can be confusing. The most important markers to look for are professional accreditation and registration.

BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy), UKCP (UK Council for Psychotherapy), and HCPC (Health and Care Professions Council) are the main professional bodies. Membership requires a minimum level of training, regular supervision, ongoing professional development, and adherence to an ethical framework. BACP Senior Accredited status, which I hold, requires additional clinical hours and a higher threshold of practice standards.

Academic qualifications range from Level 4 diplomas (equivalent to year 1 of a degree) through to doctoral level (Level 8). Longer training generally means more supervised clinical hours, broader theoretical grounding, and greater experience with complex presentations, but it doesn’t automatically make someone a better fit for you. What matters is that whoever you work with is qualified, supervised, and accountable to a professional body.

Practical Considerations

Beyond the relational fit, there are practical questions worth thinking through before you start looking:

Online or in person? Both can be effective. Think about what will actually work for your life and where you’ll feel most able to concentrate. Online means you do not need to travel but you will need a quiet and private space.
Frequency and availability. Most therapy happens weekly or twice weekly.
Location. If working in person, a practice that’s genuinely accessible to you reduces the practical friction of attending consistently.

I work from my practice in Bromley, South East London, Monday to Wednesday, and also offer online sessions.

Trusting Your Own Judgement

There’s no formula for finding the right therapist. You can research qualifications and read profiles, but the decision ultimately comes down to something more subjective: a sense that this person might be someone you could work with. That instinct matters and is worth paying attention to.

If you’d like to explore whether working together might be a good fit, I offer an initial consultation. Get in touch at samanthamerry.co.uk/contacts.