If you are autistic and have ADHD, you may already know that your experience does not map neatly onto either diagnosis alone. The term AuDHD has emerged to describe this combination, and with it comes a set of tensions that are genuinely distinct: autism pulling toward routine and sameness, ADHD pulling toward novelty and stimulation. A need for certainty alongside a tendency toward impulsivity. Social
interaction that feels both draining and difficult to organise. Organisation that you want but cannot maintain. Many people with AuDHD arrive at therapy after years of self-blame, late or misdiagnosis, and the exhaustion of adapting to environments not built for them. If that resonates, this post is for you.
What Therapy Can Offer
Psychotherapy will not resolve the neurological differences that come with AuDHD. Medication, ADHD coaching, occupational therapy, and other practical supports often play an important role in managing day-to-day functioning. Therapy works alongside these, not instead of them.
What therapy can offer is a space to slow down and look at the patterns that have accumulated over a lifetime. Many adults with AuDHD received a late diagnosis, and with that comes a particular kind of grief, for the version of yourself who went unseen, for the things that were harder than they needed to be, for the ways you learned to mask in order to manage. A relational, attachment-informed approach to
therapy creates the conditions to process that grief without rushing past it.
There is also something specific that happens in the room itself. People with AuDHD often describe their inner world as crowded and fast-moving. Putting that world into words with another person, week after week, helps to externalise what had felt overwhelming. Patterns become visible. Emotional responses that seemed to arrive from nowhere begin to make more sense. The question shifts from “what is wrong with me?” toward “what does this tell me about what I need?” Therapy can also help with the relational consequences of AuDHD. Friendships that are hard to sustain, misunderstandings in close relationships, a tendency to overshare or withdraw, difficulty reading what others expect. These are not character flaws. They are patterns with roots, and understanding those roots changes what you can do with
them.
What Therapy Cannot Do
It is worth being honest about the limits. Research, and the accounts of many AuDHD adults, suggest that therapy does not significantly reduce core symptoms like inattention, impulsivity, or sensory overwhelm. People who have found therapy useful consistently describe it as helping them understand themselves, reduce self-criticism, and work through the emotional legacy of living undiagnosed. They do not describe it as a substitute for the practical scaffolding ADHD and autism often require.
This matters because accessing the right combination of support takes time, and holding onto a realistic picture of what each part offers helps you use it well. Therapy is not where you come to be fixed, it is where you come to be understood, including by yourself. If you are newly diagnosed, therapy can be a valuable place to begin making sense of what that diagnosis means, to grieve what went unrecognised, and to start building a clearer picture of how your mind actually works.
Therapy works best when the structure fits the person. Sessions are available in 30, 50 or 90 minutes, because some people find a shorter session easier to sustain, while others need longer to settle before the real work begins. Fortnightly appointments are available alongside weekly ones, giving more time between sessions for reflection and processing. The environment is flexible too. Fidget toys are welcome, eye contact is not expected, and if it helps to bring notes, make notes during the session, or email thoughts ahead of time, all of that is fine. The aim is a space that works for how your mind actually functions.
Author Bio: Samantha Merry is a BACP Senior Accredited Psychotherapist and Clinical Supervisor based in Bromley, South East London. She works from a relational psychodynamic framework with adults navigating complex life experiences, including late diagnosis of autism and ADHD. Find out more at samanthamerry.co.uk.
Resources
Books… Explaining AuDHD by Dr Khurram Sadiq. A clinically grounded and accessible guide to the combined diagnosis, written by an autism and ADHD specialist.
The Autistic Burnout Workbook by Dr Megan Anna Neff. Recommended by clients. A structured, affirming recovery workbook from a neurodivergent psychologist with personal and professional expertise in autism.
The Neurodivergent Friendly Workbook of DBT Skills by Sonny Jane Wise. Recommended by clients. Covers emotion regulation and distress tolerance adapted for neurodivergent minds, written from lived experience.
Podcast ADHD Chatter with Alex Partridge. Candid conversations about ADHD, including episodes on autism co-occurrence and late diagnosis.
YouTube Autism from the Inside (Paul Micallef). A neurodivergent-led channel exploring autism clearly and thoughtfully, useful for those making sense of a dual diagnosis.