A report published this week by researchers at the University of Edinburgh and University of Melbourne brings into focus one of the most overlooked forms of childhood bereavement: growing up after one parent has killed the other. It is a subject that rarely surfaces in public conversation, and when it does, the child’s experience is often an afterthought. This post…
Why Different Approaches Exist Trauma affects people in many ways. For some, it shows up in the body, as tension, exhaustion, or feeling “on edge.” For others, it shows up in thoughts, emotions, or relationships. Because trauma touches both body and mind, different therapies have developed to meet people where they are. Some therapies work mainly “from the body up” (known…
You might have read the recent headline’s around Police and Court requests of counselling notes, and felt your stomach drop. Counselling notes. Police requests. Rape cases. The quiet fear that something private could leave the therapy room and end up in someone else’s hands. If you did not know this could happen, you are not alone. Many people start therapy…
When Insight Isn’t Enough: The Stuckness of Trauma Therapy There’s a moment that happens often in trauma therapy, not necessarily at the start, and not always in crisis, when someone says with calm clarity: “I now understand why I feel like this, but I still feel like this.”Both of us nod. Because that sentence is accurate, and it points at…
Have you found yourself defending someone who treated you badly, or feeling loyal to a person whose care was unreliable at best and harmful at worst? That experience is more common than most people realise, and it has a name: trauma bonding. Trauma bonding develops when harm and connection become entangled in the same relationship. It’s most visible in abusive…
A stiff neck, a clamped jaw, a hollow ache in the chest that has no obvious cause. Most of us have learned to explain these away as bad posture or getting older. Sometimes that’s accurate. Sometimes the body is holding something the mind hasn’t found words for yet. People who come to therapy often say something like: “It wasn’t that bad.…
Writing for Wellbeing: Therapeutic Writing to Process Trauma Experiencing trauma, whether a single overwhelming event such as an accident, assault, medical emergency, or sudden loss, or the more cumulative effects of difficult childhood experiences, can leave you feeling stuck, fragmented, or disconnected from yourself. Talking therapies can be invaluable, and therapeutic writing offers something alongside or between those conversations: a…
Dissociation is something most people experience in mild forms. You drive a familiar route and arrive without remembering the journey. Your mind drifts completely away from a conversation. You feel briefly unreal, as though you’re watching yourself from a slight distance. These experiences are common and usually pass quickly. For some people, dissociation goes considerably further. At the more significant…
If you’re dealing with trauma and private therapy isn’t financially possible right now, that’s a real constraint, not a personal failing. Private therapy is expensive, NHS and charity waiting lists are long, and the gap between knowing you need support and being able to access it is genuinely difficult. This post is about what you can do in that gap.…
You’ve probably made peace, at least on the surface, with your past. You don’t dwell on it. You function well. But your body hasn’t necessarily received the same memo. You carry tension you can’t account for. You’re exhausted in a way that sleep doesn’t touch. Your stomach is unpredictable. You startle easily. A particular tone of voice or a specific…