Burnout rarely announces itself clearly. It tends to accumulate quietly, in the gap between what you’re giving and what you’re getting back, until the point where ordinary demands start to feel unmanageable and the capacity to recover between them has gone. It doesn’t always look dramatic. Often it looks like someone who is still functioning, still showing up, still meeting…
When Insight Isn’t Enough: The Stuckness of Trauma Therapy There’s a moment that happens often in trauma therapy, not necessarily at the start, and not always in crisis, when someone says with calm clarity: “I now understand why I feel like this, but I still feel like this.”Both of us nod. Because that sentence is accurate, and it points at…
Why long-term psychotherapy asks for time, not shortcuts What most people secretly want from therapy is a reliable shortcut. A focused set of techniques that produces results within a defined timeframe. That’s understandable, and it’s also not quite what long-term psychodynamic therapy offers. The kind of work I do, relational, attachment-based, and trauma-informed, is slow and non-linear. That’s not a…
Avoidance in psychotherapy and why it’s important Avoidance is one of the most misunderstood things that happens in therapy. It tends to get framed as a problem to overcome, a sign that someone isn’t ready, or isn’t trying hard enough. That framing is wrong, and it does real damage. Avoidance is a signal. When it shows up in therapy, it’s…
Single Session Therapy: Why One Conversation Can Be Enough Not every difficulty requires long-term therapy. Sometimes what you need is one focused conversation, space to think clearly, a different perspective, and the relief of saying out loud what’s been circling in your head. That’s what Single Session Therapy offers. Single Session Therapy, sometimes called ad hoc therapy, is built around…
Why the urge to leave, or disappear, is a meaningful part of the work There are moments in therapy when something in you says: I have to get out of here. Your legs want to move, your chest tightens, and part of you is already planning the exit. It doesn’t always look dramatic from the outside, but internally the system…
One of the things that becomes clear in relational therapy is how intelligent our defences are. Intellectualising, the tendency to analyse, explain, and think our way through experiences rather than feel them, isn’t a failure of emotional awareness. It’s a sign that somewhere along the line, staying in the head felt considerably safer than dropping into the body and its…
Have you found yourself defending someone who treated you badly, or feeling loyal to a person whose care was unreliable at best and harmful at worst? That experience is more common than most people realise, and it has a name: trauma bonding. Trauma bonding develops when harm and connection become entangled in the same relationship. It’s most visible in abusive…
A stiff neck, a clamped jaw, a hollow ache in the chest that has no obvious cause. Most of us have learned to explain these away as bad posture or getting older. Sometimes that’s accurate. Sometimes the body is holding something the mind hasn’t found words for yet. People who come to therapy often say something like: “It wasn’t that bad.…
There’s a particular frustration that comes from trying to explain how you feel and coming up blank. Your mouth and your mind seem to be working from different scripts. For people living with the effects of complex trauma, especially those who dissociate, that’s not a loose description. It’s biology. When the nervous system is under threat, the body’s primary aim…