Understanding Isn’t Always Enough (Trauma, Therapy, and That Familiar Stuck Feeling) There’s this curious moment that often happens in trauma therapy, not always at the start, and not necessarily in crisis, when someone says, with calm clarity: “I now understand why I feel like this… but I still feel like this.” And we both nod. Because yes, insight matters. You’ve…
Why long-term psychotherapy asks for time, not shortcuts What most of us secretly want is a very clever shortcut. A quick fix. A neat little checklist that promises emotional fluency in ten sessions or less. And honestly? I get it. But here’s the truth: therapy, at least the kind I practise, which is psychodynamic, attachment-based, and trauma-informed, is not a…
Avoidance in psychotherapy and why it’s important Let me tell you a secret about therapy that nobody talks about: progress doesn’t arrive with trumpets and a calendar. It doesn’t follow bullet points. Often, it feels more like the seasons, except less predictable, with longer winters, surprise hailstorms, and the odd summer day that sneaks up on you in February. Avoidance,…
Single Session Therapy (SST): Why One Conversation Can Be Enough Not every problem needs a five-season drama. Single Session Therapy is more like a mini-series: short, focused, and just enough to help you get back on track. We’ve all been there, a problem buzzing around in your head like an annoyingly persistent wasp. You don’t necessarily want to commit to ongoing therapy…
Why the urge to leave (or disappear) is a meaningful part of the work Let’s talk about those moments in therapy when everything in you says: “I have to get out of here.” Not metaphorically, literally! I mean your actual legs twitch, your heart starts sprinting, maybe the walls close in, and you’re already halfway through planning your exit route. It’s…
You know, one of the things I’ve come to deeply respect in therapy is the brilliance of the mind, not just for solving puzzles or remembering where we parked the car, but for stepping in like a loyal bodyguard when emotions start to feel overwhelming. And that’s intellectualising, it’s the brain’s way of saying, “Don’t worry, feelings, I’ve got this…
Ever found yourself defending someone who treated you terribly? Or felt oddly loyal to a person who hurt you, then hugged you, then hurt you again? You’re not alone, and no, you’re not daft either. Welcome to the strange and sticky world of trauma bonding. At its core, trauma bonding is what happens when love and harm get tangled up…
It’s one of those lines that lands somewhere low in the belly when you hear it. Because we sort of know it already, don’t we? That a stiff neck, a clamped jaw, or a hollow ache in the chest might not be just “bad posture” or “getting older.” That sometimes, our bodies tell stories we haven’t quite found the words…
There’s a special kind of frustration that comes from trying to explain how you feel and coming up blank. Like your mouth and your heart are on different time zones or speaking different languages. As if your verbal skills have left the building! For people living with the effects of complex trauma, especially those who dissociate, that’s not just metaphor.…
Not everyone finds it easy to talk. For some, the idea of sitting face-to-face and trying to explain the inner world feels like trying to hold mist in your hands. Words vanish before they arrive. Sentences falter. But something different can happen when a pen hits the page. Therapeutic writing offers a space where words can land quietly, without interruption.…